The Whole Nine Yards (Rating: 3 Crow’s Feet)

This movie is about a dentist named Oz (played by Matthew Perry) who lives in Montreal, Canada. A new neighbor moves in, Jimmy (played by Bruce Willis) who happens to be an ex-mafia hit man Jimmy ‘The Tulip’ Tudeski.

Oz’s wife, Sophie (played by Rosanne Arquette), hates him. She makes him go to Chicago to organize a finder’s fee for the ‘hit’ that is out on Jimmy. He decides to go, but not to try to make any contact with the mafia because he likes Jimmy and doesn’t want him killed. Meanwhile Sophie goes next door and tells Jimmy that Oz is in Chicago working with the mafia and asks him to kill Oz.

While Oz is in Chicago he is intercepted by Frankie Figgs (played by Michael Clarke Duncan). Frankie takes Oz to the mafia leader, Janni (played by Kevin Pollak). Janni introduces Oz to Jimmy’s wife, Cynthia (played by Natasha Henstridge). Janni asks Oz to take Frankie back to Montreal to find Jimmy. The evening before Oz flies back to Montreal, Cynthia comes to his hotel to talk to him. They end up falling for each other and become intimate.

When Oz and Frankie arrive in Montreal, they are met in Frankie’s hotel room by Jimmy who is working with Frankie. Jimmy tells Oz that he sent Frankie to him in Chicago to make sure he got Janni to come to Montreal. Then Jimmy plans to kill Janni.

I won’t give away the ending because it’s a bit predictable. This movie was not the best movie; it was not what I would call a ‘thinker.’ I played video games while it was running and was still able to follow the plot. However, it was interesting to these famous actors working together. I didn’t think any of the actors did a good job, and I didn’t buy any of them in these roles. Most of the actors seemed to be playing themselves or playing roles they have already mastered.

The only actor I found any merit in was Michael Clarke Duncan. He played a hit man, which due to his imposing size and baritone voice is an easy portrayal. But, he played it in a way that inspired some magnetism towards such a seemingly brutal character.

I don’t recommend this movie unless you are looking to kill some time. Otherwise pass this one by and see something different.